A Month's CheckUp
by WindStar72
Summary: What happens when Antonio sneaks into the doctor's office and impersonates a doctor? Can Francis and Gilbert convince him otherwise? Or will a certain young Italian get in the way? Warning- Pedo!Spain I guess AU & Spamano.
1. Chapter 1

**A Month's Check-Up**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

"Here, put these on." Antonio requested grasping two stretched pieces of cloth.

"Why should we?" Gilbert demanded, eyeing the fabrics guardedly.

"Yeah, I'm with Gilbert on this one. What are they for Antonio?" Francis questioned, his hand rubbing the scruff of his chin ever so slightly.

"I have to show you guys something! It's a surprise and you can't see where I'm gonna take you or else it'll ruin it!" Antonio enlightened, pushing the material towards his friends even closer.

Gilbert heaved a sigh, "Is it really that special?" Antonio nodded. "Well…I suppose it wouldn't hurt the awesome me…" Antonio's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he hugged his albino friend.

"Oh thank you, Gil! You'll see! It's going to be so much fun!" Antonio cheered, practically compressing Gilbert up to the peak of suffocation.

"A-alright! I get it. Now let go of me 'Tonio!" Gilbert choked out. Antonio sheepishly retracted and shifted his focus over to Francis taking this opportunity to stick out his lower lip, pouting like a four-year old who wanted a cookie before dinner.

"Now Antonio…don't look at me like that…" Francis began, trying to divert his attention elsewhere. Antonio then seized the opportunity and pretended to cry. Francis unfolded a quick smile and breathed out, "Fine, fine. Since Gilbert's in on it now, I might as well be. After all, you two can't have all the fun without me, am I right?"

Antonio laughed and he too, embraced Francis. "Ha, ha! You're right! I'm so glad you're coming too!" Francis grunted, signaling for Antonio to let go. He obeyed and bestowed his friends the cloth pieces. "Now you have to put those on" Antonio specified, seeing his two friends staring at what was given to them.

"Why?"

"Because it's gonna be a surprise, Gilbert! Now put it on! You too, Francis!" Antonio commanded.

Francis and Gilbert exchanged a glance but shrugged it off. They both coupled on the blindfolds, concealing their eyes. Antonio hastily examined them both and after approving of their sight loss, he steered them both outside. Antonio then shoved them into his red car and fired up the engine, taking off along the narrow road.

"Ah~ we're here!" Antonio sang as he shut off the ignition key. Gilbert began to reach up to detach his blindfold but Antonio had slapped his hand away. Antonio stepped out of the car and proceeded to the other side in order to facilitate Francis and Gilbert out. He then guided them from the parking lot (without getting stuck by a crazy driver) to the safety of the sidewalk. A petite blond-haired boy shrieked adjacent to the three of them and was pleading his mom not to make him go inside the "horrible, evil, scary brick building" that lay before all of them.

Gilbert and Francis were perplexed, inquisitive, and asked if they could remove their blindfolds. Antonio nodded his head and realizing that they hadn't done so, he remembered that they couldn't see him nod so he affirmed his answer out loud. Gilbert and Francis took away the fabrics swiftly and merely gawked at the building lying in front of their red and blue eyes.

"See~ what did I tell you? I told you it was a surprise!" Antonio exclaimed practically shaking with excitement.

"Oh—my—_**god.**_" Gilbert wheezed, gaping unbelievably at what was ahead of him. Francis raised up his right hand and face-palmed himself in incredulity. Gilbert's eyes twitched closer together as he muttered, "Are you joking?" Antonio, having hearing him, shook his head. Francis slowly rotated his skull towards Antonio and asked him,

"'Tonio, are you series? Truly?" Antonio once again nodded his head and he smiled cheerfully, linking his arms between Gilbert's and Francis's towing them toward the building.

"Si~ I am very serious about the Family Pediatrics** (1)** Service! It's simply amazing!"

* * *

"You know what, Francis."

"What, Gil?"

"Our, uh, little buddy 'tonio here is beginning to worry me."

"Oh, so you just now realize this, huh?"

"Shut up, I'm awesome! But why the hell are we even _**in**_ this hell-hole of screaming kids?"

"Blame Antonio for that, Gil."

Gilbert and Francis twisted their heads over in the direction of their friend ogling over the young children playing in the Kiddy-Land Corner **(2)** of the pediatrics' office as their parents chatted to themselves in the waiting room. Antonio was currently seated backwards on a chair peering over the back of it, squirming like a kid who was trying their best to hold on patiently before wetting their pants.

Placing his hand upon his forehead, as if a headache was coming on, Francis murmured to Gilbert, "Go retrieve him, please."

But Gilbert shot back, "Why the awesome me? You go get him."

"Gil, people are staring at him…just go get him before he gets arrested."

"That's bullshit. If you're so worried about him then you go get him!" Gilbert sulked folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh please. Think of it this way…the quicker you go get him and bring him back here, the quicker we'll all go out to drink. Sound fair?" Francis asked in a hushed tone.

"Beer! Oh fuck yes!" Gilbert exclaimed, sending many razor-sharp scowls coming at him from the parents in the waiting room, clearly disapproving of the profanity that had echoed throughout the room with children present. Francis shook his head as Gilbert marched on over to the Kiddy-Land Corner where Antonio was currently sprawled out on the puzzle-shaped carpeting as children piled different colored Legos on top of him.

"Antonio get the fu—ah, I mean, get the fudge up and come with the awesome me." Gilbert corrected making sure he didn't any more death glares from the parents nearby.

"Aww! But why? I'm having so much fun!" Antonio whined, not making any effort to move. Gilbert angrily glared down at him, grabbed his arm, and yanked him up from the germ infested carpet sending Legos crashing down.

"The awesome me wants a drink! So let's go. Francis and I let you have your fun with these, children, so now let us have our fun at a bar!" Gilbert criticized whereas Antonio had a different motive in his mind. Gilbert hauled Antonio back over to where Francis was seated and asked if they could leave now. Francis had nodded his head and arose to his feet.

"Alright let's go guys."

"'bout time…which bar do you guys want to go to anyways?" Gilbert asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I chose that last bar we went to. Your choice this time, Gil." Francis commented.

"…Good point. Hey, 'Tonio. Did you have anything in mind?" Gilbert asked. Once a reply hadn't been issued, the two of them searched wildly for Antonio who had gone astray. "Where the hell did he go?"

"Ah! There he is!" Francis pointed as Gilbert spun around to see Antonio sneak into the main door that led to the offices of the Family Pediatrics Service without anyone there to oppose him. Gilbert slapped his hands to his ears in panic as Francis blasphemed under his breath. The both of them hurriedly rushed over to the door to retrieve Antonio but were stopped in their tracks as a nurse sauntered out eyeing them skeptically. They were forced to retreat and settled back into their chairs causing everyone in the clinic to gaze at them perplexed.

"What the fuck is he thinking?" Gilbert murmured with distraught.

"How should I know? Gilbert, we're going to have to get him back!" Francis urgently whispered.

"I realize that, but how?"

"I think I have an idea how…"

* * *

Antonio became aware of himself standing in a minute room which had numerous diverse implements doctors customarily used. It was the first room he entered so he wouldn't get noticed by the pediatrics ambling about. He examined the quarter and scrutinized all the substances inside of it. Needles, blood pressure measure, temperature reader, computer, white coat, patient bed, stethoscope…

_"Wait a minute…"_ Antonio thought to himself. He curved to set his eyes on the white coat draped up on the backside of the door. Even the ever so dense, Antonio, had figured out a way to blend in with the other workers. He snatched the coat and slipped it on top of his clothes.

_"Perfect!"_ he pronounced in his head. He was sure to fit in now! At that instant, a nurse opened the door, triggering Antonio to recoil.

"O-oh! Dr. Ramos! I-I didn't know you came in today! I thought you called in sick. What are you doing here?" The nurse inquired unmistakably confused.

"W-well... I-I did feel sick earlier but I actually was alright without realizing it...S-so I came in just a little while ago." Antonio speedily responded with whatever lie came off the top of his head. The nurse pressed her glasses back up to the bridge of her nose and what seemed like forever to Antonio, she smiled.

"Good to have you back, sir! It's been pretty hectic without you here. We've had so many patients here today and the entire staff has been overworked. But with you here we'll get back on schedule in no time!" The nurse elucidated. "Well, I'll let you get back to your work and I'll send in the next patient shortly. See you soon, Dr. Ramos." The nurse walked out of the room fastening the door after her as she set out.

Antonio had done it. He couldn't believe that his lie actually worked! The only issue that had troubled him was the fact that the nurse had dubbed him "Dr. Ramos."

"_That's my brother…Portugal's last name…but it can't be… It wouldn't make sense…Must just be a coincidence…" _Antonio contemplated. He impelled the thought to the back of his cranium but a new one had emerged. What was he going to do? The nurse informed him that she was going to bring in the next patient in and Antonio knew squat about being a pediatric doctor.

"The question is…do I escape while I have the chance…or do I stay and pretend to be this "Dr. Ramos" whom I've been mistaken for in order to take care of cute…small…adorable…young…children…" Antonio panted, drooling over the last statement. Of course for anyone who knew Antonio, the decision was simple to decide on.

* * *

"Well here's Dr. Ramos! You remember him from last time don't you?" the nurse asked a adolescent boy approximately 8 years old while striding back into the room where Antonio had opted to stay.

"Don't talk to me like I'm some damn two year old, you stupid bitch!" the boy irately countered. The nurse's eyes enlarged as did Antonio's. With her feelings noticeably upset, she did her best to pretend she wasn't distressed by the uncouth vocabulary. The boy glared at the nurse and walked over to the crook of the room. He slid down the wall and sat there as if he had nothing better to do. Antonio could deduce this was going to be a handful and dismissed the nurse. She left and from the other side of the door, Antonio could have sworn he heard a faint sob.

Antonio shook his head and turned his concentration to the boy on the ground. He had a dark reddish-brown color for hair that was lush and the humorous thing that Antonio had perceived about his hair was that there was a curl that stuck out. He had a grimace on his face and his green eyes displayed resentment and trepidation. Antonio wanted to just go up to him and give him a big hug to tell him everything was going to be okay. But he controlled himself and smiled.

"Hello there! What's your name?" Antonio asked innocently.

"Who are you?" The boy questioned, glaring at him.

"Why…I'm Dr. Ramos. Don't you know me?" Antonio played, fulfilling the doctor's position.

"You're not Dr. Ramos. You're somebody different. So who the fuck are you?" The boy asked again, this time more hostile. Antonio had frozen, his cover was blown. What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

**(1)-A pediatric is a doctor who takes care of children from newborns to when their 18. And so the Family Pediatrics Service is just a crap name I gave a place where you take children when they need check-ups of if they're sick. I'm pretty sure that everyone has been to one at one point in their lives. I didn't know if people knew this term or not so I put it down here.**

**(2)-Kiddy-Land Corner is the corner in the Pediatrics office that always had those germ infested toys from all those little sick children coughing and slobbering all over them. My mom let me play with those toys and they were fun. I loved them. But then I wasn't allowed to play with them after I got sick. :I**

**JAJAJAJAJAJA. We'll thanks for reading chapter one~ I got the idea for it when I sat in the doctor's office for 3 and a half hours. I was wondering what kind of doctor I was going to get and then thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be horrible (and funny) if you got a doctor who was like Antonio?" And that's kinda how this story came to be. Well I hope you enjoyed! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A Month's Check-Up**

**Chapter 2**

"Hey, phony bastard! Answer my damn question! Who the fuck are you?" the boy repeated, raising his voice. Antonio gazed down at him. Clearly this kid was sharp and lying to him could cause him to get irritated. Antonio squatted alongside the boy and produced a gentle smile.

"My name is Antonio. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. And yes, I am not Dr. Ramos." Antonio enlighten straightforwardly staring unswervingly into the child's green eyes. After a few seconds of silence, the boy shifted his current sitting position and responded cautiously saying,

"Why the hell are you here then?" Antonio's smile faded. That was a good question. Why **was** he here in the first place? He wanted to play with children…Francis and Gilbert wanted to go drinking…came back here…put on the coat…got mistaken as "Dr. Ramos"...

_'Oh my god! I forgot about Francis and Gil!'_ Antonio realized. _'Wait…they wanted to go to that bar…ah, they probably just went out without me…nothing to worry over!" _

"Bastard! Listen to me when I fucking talk to you! Don't ignore me!" the boy interjected, causing Antonio to immediately snap back to the present. He switched from looking off into space to gazing back at the boy.

"Now answer my damn question you asshole!"

"My, my…you have a strong vocabulary for a boy your age…" Antonio commented.

"So? Who the fuck cares!"

"I do. Boys as young as you shouldn't curse." _'Even if it is absolutely adorable!'_

"Hmph."

"Well…to answer your question…I honestly don't know why I'm here. It just sorta happened." Antonio explained. "So now that I've answered your question, will you answer one I have for you?"

"Sure. There, I answered it." The boy smugly remarked.

"That one didn't count." Antonio pouted. "Can you tell me what your name is?"

The boy twisted away not knowing if he should reveal it to him or not. After a conflicting inside battle, the boy had spoke up. "L-Lovino Vargas…"

"That's a cute name Lovino!" Antonio pronounced.

"S-shut up! It's **not** fucking cute!" Lovino yelled, turning his head away from Antonio in an attempt to conceal his vivid crimson face.

"My bad, my bad." Antonio chuckled, raising up his hands in defeat. He arose and outstretched his hand before Lovino. "So what do you say that we get this doctor stuff over with, Lovino?" Lovino twisted his head back over to glare at Antonio's hand. He smacked it away and pulled his knees securely into his chest.

"No. And you can't make me…" he muttered.

"How come? You do realize doctors have to check on patients in order to make sure they're healthy, right?" Antonio questioned.

"I hate it here…I hate everything…" Lovino softly whispered. His voice was so depressed sounding, as if there was no more hope left inside of him. Antonio felt dismayed and abruptly sat down next to him, against the wall.

"Why do you hate it here, Lovino?" Antonio asked softly, placing a hand on top of Lovino's miniature shoulder. Lovino did not reject Antonio's hand yet his face contorted up as he began to cry. Antonio became startled at first by the unexpected outburst but reinstated the jolt with nothing but a sorrowful desire to assist the weeping child.

"I-I h-hate…t-the s-shots!" Lovino sobbed into his knees. Antonio could not withstand to witness him like this. He draped his arms around the boy and incessantly told him. "Sh-h, there, there." Lovino accepted the hug but did not return the favor. Antonio allowed him to cry a little while longer and released a kindhearted grin.

"Lovino…I'm not going to give you any shots." Antonio benevolently avowed, like music to Lovino's ears. He perked his head up and whimpered,

"Y-You mean it? Y-you're not s-screwing with me?"

"Of course not. I'm not like that." Antonio replied. He stood up and once again extended his hand. "So what do you say, Lovino? Just think of it as a friendly check without any, and I mean it…without any shots."

Lovino looked up with tears stained on his face. He grasped Antonio's hand and he assisted him to his feet. Lovino used the sleeves on his shirt to hastily wipe off the tears causing his sleeve to become damp.

"Now Lovino, can you sit up on this table for me?"

He sniveled, nodded his head, and did as instructed. Antonio wandered to the counter inside the office and halted. He had gotten that far but now what? He doesn't understand how check-ups work. He peeked swiftly at all of the implements on it. But nothing came to his mind. Lovino analyzed Antonio perplexed as to what he was doing, and why it was taking so long.

Antonio opened a cabinet and performed an "aha" moment in his head. He withdrew a stethoscope and strided back over to the table Lovino was sitting on. He then slipped on the stethoscope and advised,

"Now I'm, uh, going to check—" he paused. What did stethoscopes do exactly?

"—my heartbeat?" Lovino finished.

"Y-yeah! That's right!"

"You're…not a real doctor…are you?" Lovino inquired slowly. Antonio shifted his glance away and a discomfited cough came out. Lovino didn't need a response to figure out what the real answer was. He grimaced and shook his head.

"You have to put the circle part on my heart, bastard."

"Ah…" Antonio mumbled, settling the cold metal a top Lovino's torso. He listened attentively and heard a steady heart-beat loud and clear. "Whoa! That's so cool! I can hear your heart!" Antonio exclaimed enthusiastically. Lovino merely stared at him.

"You're so retarded."

"Well that's not a very nice thing to say, Lovino…"

"Well I'm not a very nice kid." Lovino shot back huffing out his cheeks.

Antonio smiled as he set aside the stethoscope. "I'm sure that isn't true…but um…now what am I supposed to do?"

Lovino smacked himself in the forehead and sighed. "You're horrible at pretending to be a doctor."

* * *

"So wait…explain to me again why the fuck the awesome me is dressed like a girl!" Gilbert angrily yelled.

Francis snickered and explained, "Because Gil. It follows the plan."

"And this plan is…?" Gilbert asked annoyed.

"The plan is that you'll pretend to be a seventeen-year old girl who is relentlessly coughing. Now, she'll be with her dad…moi. So then, once I begin to complain to the front desk, that'll be you're cue to tumble over as if you fainted, then that'll be our golden ticket for us to get in the back, find Antonio, and get the hell out of there."

"Yeah, um…one insy problem…why do **I **have to be the girl? Can't you? I mean you have the hair and everything!" Gilbert protested, tugging on his costume.

"I can't be the girl because of my beard, Gil. Oh and get rid of that bird on your head. You can't take it back inside." Francis remarked.

"Huh? What bird? What are you talking about?" Gilbert asked confused. "There's nothing there. Are you pulling my chain or something, Francis?"

"I am not—" Francis discontinued, seeing as it would be a pointless quarrel. Not to mention the time that they would be squandering.

"Mein Gott, Francis! This damn dress is giving me a fucking wedgie and this wig is scratchy! This fucking sucks!" Gilbert whined.

"Stop nagging, Gil. Think. It's to get out Antonio back."

"Yeah? Well when we go get him, he had better buy us all the drinks in the world that we want! There is no way I'll let him get away with the awesome me in a pink-frilled dress!" Gilbert swore, making a huge commotion about it.

"Yeah, yeah." Francis waved. "Just think…this'll sure make a good story to tell at bars. Now c'mon. It's time to put my plan into high gear."

* * *

Antonio had been finally able to get the routine and practices of pediatric doctors with the aid of Lovino, who unenthusiastically guided him through the procedures. Antonio was having a blast being able to learn from the 8 year old who was absolutely the cutest child on the earth.

"—and that's basically all the things stupid doctors do." Lovino finished.

"That was so much fun, Lovino! I'm so glad I could have such a great teacher like you to help me!" Antonio exclaimed. Lovino blushed and hurriedly glanced away, attempting to hide his reddened-face. It soon was futile though, as Antonio pressed his fingers beneath Lovino's chin and lifted up his face to face his.

'_Oh no! Why is his face so red? Is he sick?' _Antonio thought to himself, examining the squirming boy. Lovino tried to resist the grasp by hitting Antonio, but his fist never hit its target because it was intercepted by Antonio's hand.

"Why is your face red, Lovino? Is something wrong? Are you sick?" Antonio fired away questions worriedly. Lovino, too embarrassed to answer, shook his head and bit his lip. The blush returned, worse than before. His face was burning and he couldn't understand why. Maybe it was because he was too young to understand.

Once Lovino quit shaking his head, Antonio let out a sigh of relief and thought for a moment. After releasing of Lovino's hand, he finally comprehended why the adolescent boy was all red. He was blushing.

"Lovino~ Why are you blushing?" Antonio asked innocently.

"…"

"Lovino~"

"…"

"Lovino~"

"…"

Well this wasn't going anywhere. Antonio decided to have a go at something else in order to make the boy to speak.

"Lovino~ You look as red as a tomato!"

"S-shut the fuck up you b-bastard." Lovino responded, staring at the floor tiles.

'_My plan worked!' _Antonio cheered in his mind.

"W-what time is it?" Lovino asked, not bothering to look up.

"Ah…it is..wow! It's already four! We've been in here for…oh let's say around an hour and a half." Antonio said.

"Fuck!" Lovino cried, unexpectedly bounding off of the patients table. Antonio became befuddled and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I left my little brother by himself out in the waiting room! I didn't think it would take so damn long!"

"Lovino, you have a brother?" Antonio curiously asked, trying to conjure up the unknown child. But every time he did, he kept imagining a younger version of Lovino.

"Yeah! So now I have to go." Lovino said, reaching up for the doorknob. But before he bolted out of the door, something stopped him. With his had upon the door handle, Lovino twisted around to look toward Antonio.

"Am I ever going to see you again?"

Antonio was astonished but recognized what Lovino meant. He was saying that since Antonio wasn't an authentic doctor who actually worked at the Family Pediatrics Service, that would Lovino ever see him here at this place again. Antonio smiled at the thought and being caught in the moment without thinking, Antonio answered,

"Of course you will, Lovino. I'll see you for your next month's check-up."


End file.
